"Their waitress came outside and gave them menus and a beer list, then told them about the specials. At the top of the beer list it said, in bold, 'Pitchers Available!' On a handwritten chalkboard, in bold, it said, 'Pitchers Available!' On the little plastic signs in the middle of tables (which they had five of them) it said, in offending, bold Comic Sans, 'Pitchers Available!' Regardless, the large group ordered pints.
"While they were ordering, one of the kids pulled out a Captain America costume from his mother's oversized purse and stripped in the middle of the patio. This must have been a common occurrence because it didn't even garner a glance from his mother. He then pulled out a set of Star Wars action figures (must have been Episode I-III) and proudly announced, 'I want to be Jar Jar!' as he passed them to his buddies. Any decent parent knows you should squash any desire to idolize Jar Jar immediately, without question.