Master of mastication
"My grandfather owned a 24-hour deli in Montreal known for its smoked meat sandwiches (not Schwartz's). The place is on a major city artery, which is now a relatively safe shopping/party street, but back in the '70s-'90s, it was where the hookers hooked and the dealers dealt. So the crowd was always… unique. But the late-night customers were particularly colourful.
"My dad is not weak-hearted. He joined the artillery reserves at 16 to 'blow shit up' and fulfilled that dream several times over. Before he told me this particular story, though, he said, 'I still gag when I think about it.' *Downs a glass of Scotch and reaches for the bottle*
"It's the middle of the night, and an old man totters in with a slightly-less-old woman. The man is cartoonishly old -- incoherent, jowly, all the stereotypes. The woman fusses over everything, getting him seated, getting him settled, etc. She orders a steak for each of them. The beautiful, succulent steaks are served promptly. Thing is, the old man has no teeth. So the woman picks up his steak, in her hands, and chews off pieces until they are soft. She really gnaws at the meat, getting the whole thing good and mushy so she can poke it into the old man's mouth, piece by soggy, disgusting piece. She masticates the whole thing, and he swallows the whole thing, and 40+ years later this image still makes my dad shudder.