The Subway fight
"When I was 16 I worked at a Subway next to a public park that was known for attracting drug users. A lot of crazy things happened that year, but the craziest had to be 'The Fight.'
"One afternoon, I'm restocking vegetables before dinner rush, so the store is empty. Suddenly, a scrawny man bursts in looking very agitated. 'Hey! Have you seen a guy with a red shirt!?' he yells at us. We say no. Scrawny guy continues pacing back and forth practically foaming at the mouth. Seconds later the door opens again and it's -- you guessed it -- red shirt guy! Immediately red shirt guy charges at scrawny guy in front of the soda fountain and punches him in the face, HARD.
"I think about running to the back to call 911, but my older, always stoned male co-worker stays up front and watches. So I freeze. A few punches and a broken chair later, red shirt guy runs off and leaves scrawny guy covering his face. Defeated, he glances at us, walks to the bathroom, then rushes out the back door, dripping blood along the way.
"But it isn't over yet. Shortly after, two women enter in hysterics with the blare of police sirens behind them. 'Why didn't you DO something!?' one shrieks at me. 'Uh, I dunno lady, probably because I'm a short teen girl who barely weighs 100lbs holding a bag of lettuce,' I think.
"Co-worker simply grabs the mop to take care of the carnage, and I go back to work. We never told the boss what happened or how the chair broke." -- Heather Martinson
It's a sign
"I worked at a chain 'roadhouse' in college -- the kind of place where you could throw peanuts on the floor -- and was forever running afoul of management, as smoked-out student-servers do.
"Early one evening, a co-worker and I were in the building's glass-enclosed vestibule, cracking open peanuts that were available for waiting customers. A few hundred yards from the restaurant, towering over the nearby boulevard, was a billboard for a plastic surgery practice. The sign featured, quite literally, a giant rack.
"Subtle? No. Eye-catching? You betcha.
"At any rate, my co-worker and I were taking note of the billboard, pointing, chuckling, and commenting how it was 'so Greenville.' We failed to notice, however, that a couple in the foreground was exiting the restaurant and climbing into their car, which was parked in the first row.
"The husband stopped short as he was ducking into the passenger's side, looked angrily at us, and began gesticulating in an aggressive manner, which caused his wife to go to his side of the vehicle to calm him down. At that point, the other server and I went back to work, not thinking much of the incident, which we obviously found quite amusing.
"About 10 minutes later, a female server went through the dining room rounding up all the male staff. When we arrived at the office, the manager, who was just getting off the phone, asked, 'Who tried to fight a customer?' My co-worker and I burst into laughter and explained what happened.
"To appease the complainant, we were written up (a symbolic gesture, at best). As for the citation's reason? The manager wrote simply: 'Boobies.'" -- Dave Brockton
The Viagra and the credit card
"I worked in a fairly fancy restaurant right down the street from where most of the big theaters in Boston are located (kind of like a podunk Broadway) and we got a lot of business from people getting dinner before and after a show. A few years ago, the big musical Jersey Boys came to town and we were packed every night at 5:30 with people trying to make the 8pm showtime. We'd been hearing from guests that the show was fantastic, but on the long side (like three hours).
"So I was working one Saturday night and a 10-top comes in -- five couples, all 50-something husbands and wives and clearly all friends for a long time, who were obviously excited about their big night out. They were seated at a big round table in my section and started off great -- respectful, fun, and spending lots of money. They were also upfront about needing to leave by a certain time so they could make their 8pm showing of Jersey Boys. Perfect.