Dark chocolate is definitely not as good for you as you think it is
I know you saw that blip on the Today Show that said “Great news for everyone at home with a sweet tooth -- oh, and just in time for the holidays -- a new study out of Finland showed that one bar of dark chocolate a day drops your risk of Type 3 Hyperblastomic Caligula by 4% blah, blah, blah.”
Look at the back of your chocolate bar. At the nutrition facts. Yeah, they're not great.
And that study was just disproven, anyway. Actually, there’s a new study saying dark chocolate is good for you, again. No, sorry, that study was disproven already. Oh, but actually, since I typed that last sentence, now the study is saying it's red wine that is actually good for you, not chocolate. Oh wait, it meant to say “plenty of exercise, vitamins, and sleep.”
There are other options out there, dammit
If you are going to commit to eating candy, just commit to eating candy, dude. Get some milk chocolate from Europe -- Germany is the land of chocolate, right? Or some Ben & Jerry's. Or a Funfetti cake. Or I don’t know... a banana? Maybe don’t eat anything at all, you just had lunch.