In the grand tradition of people having feelings on Twitter, DiGiorno treated its followers to an insane recap of WWE Raw last night, complete with pizza puns and gratuitous all-caps. Even if you now refer to The Rock as "actor Dwayne Johnson", you'll absolutely want to smell what DiGiorno's cookin', er, tweeting. Let's start from the beginning...
They came right out of the gate with some sick burns.
Taste Test: How to Cool Down a Spicy Mouth
But paused to talk through a serious puzzle.
Then they went back to yelling random insults about Vitamin D deficiencies.
And started conspiracy theories.
Of course, they had to get in a good Cena pun.
Afterwards, they thought about eating Kane's face.
But in the end, they just wanted all the fighters to feel good about themselves.
Basically, whoever's running that Twitter account deserves Raw box seats with unlimited pizza. WWE, make it so.
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist and would like to see DiGiorno live-tweet Mad Men next year. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.