All 149 Special Burgers From 'Bob's Burgers', Ranked by Their Puns

Here at Thrillist, we love both burgers and puns almost as much as Tina Belcher loves butts and erotic friend fiction. With that in mind, it only made sense for us to rank EVERY SINGLE sandwich to grace the Bob's Burgers chalkboard on the strength of their pun game. While we know some of these puns are tied to the theme of the episode they appear in, for the most part we tried to judge 'em solely on their name, sans context. From some unbrielievable cheese-driven word-play to hilarious holiday humor, here they are, from 149 to 1.

Do Brussel Burger
Fox

149. Do Brussel Burger (comes with Brussels sprouts)

Season 2, Episode 3  --  "Synchronized Swimming"
Maybe it's just me, but I don't get the pun in this one at all.
 

148. Burger a la Mode (comes with ice cream, not on top)

Season 2, Episode 3  --  "Synchronized Swimming"
 

147. Ruta-Bag-A Burger

Season 3, Episode 10 -- "Mother Daughter Laser Razor"
Why don't I understand????
 

146. Romanes of the Day Burger

Season 5, Episode 15 -- ""Adventures in Chinchilla-sitting"
 

145. It's Only Sourdough Burger (But I Like It)

Season 4, Episode 14 -- "Uncle Teddy"
A decent effort here in trying to mimic The Rolling Stones' "It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like It)," but this pun just didn't rise to the occasion. (Get it? Yeast puns 4 lyfe!)
 

144. 50 Ways to Leave Your Guava Burger

Season 3, Episode 10 -- "Mother Daughter Laser Razor"
 

143. Summer Thyme Burger

Season 3, Episode 3 -- "Bob Fires the Kids"
A solid pun, but lacking in originality. The living may be easy, but successful punning is not.
 

142. Peas and Thank You Burger

Season 5, Episode 3 -- "“Friends with Burger-fits”

I Am Mad About Saffron
Fox

141. I Am Mad About Saffron (made with no saffron)

Season 2, Episode 1 -- "The Belchies"
Major ups for the "made with no saffron," but it straight-up takes a line from that Donovan song, and thus loses points on creativity.
 

140. Yes I Cayenne Burger

Season 3, Episode 8 -- "The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene"
You cayenne do better, guys.
 

139. Onion Burger - Grilled....To Death!

Season 1, Episode 5 -- "Hamburger Dinner Theatre"
 

138. Sub-Conscious Burger (on a sub roll)

Season 5, Episode 3 -- ""Friends with Burger-fits"
 

137. Tunami

Season 1, Episode 2 -- "Crawl Space"
 

136. Sweet Home Avocado Burger

Season 4, Episode 18 -- "Ambergris"
Avocados are delicious, but this pun's just not quite as satisfying.
 

135. I Mint to Do That Burger (comes with mint relish)

Season 3, Episode 14 -- "Lindapendent Woman"
 

134. Bean Spirit (comes with beans)

Season 3, Episode 8 -- "The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene"
If they had added "Smells Like" to this special, it might have climbed in the ranks a bit, but alas.

Sharp Cheddar Dressed Man
Fox

133. Sharp Cheddar Dressed Man Burger (comes with sharp cheddar)

Season 3, Episode 15 -- "O.T.: The Outside Toilet"
A pretty good play on the ZZ Top track, but you will soon see there are way better cheese puns out there. Seriously, you don't even know how Gouda they are.
 

132. The Troy Oinkman Burger (served with bacon)

Season 4, Episode 11 -- "Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial"
This burger name scores for being part of a football-centric episode and coming with bacon, hence the "oink," but I did not know who Troy Aikman was before Google. (Editor's Note: Rachel is not a 35-year-old man)
 

131. Is This Your Chard Burger

Season 4, Episode 10 -- "Presto Tina-o"
 

130. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish Hamburger

Season 1, Episode 12 -- "Lobsterfest"
Doctor Seuss is chill, but what? 
 

129. Take Me Out to the Burger (comes with peanuts & Cracker Jacks)

Season 1, Episode 13 -- "Torpedo"
 

128. Grandpa Muenster Burger

Season 3, Episode 12 -- "Broadcast Wagstaff School News"
This one works just a little too well for my taste, seeing as you literally just have to add an "e" to make this pun. Great dude, though.
 

127. Three Beets to the Wind Burger

Season 5, Episode 9 -- "Speakeasy Rider"
 

126. I Ran, So Tar... Burger (not fully visible)

Season 5, Episode 12 -- “The Millie-churian Candidate” 
We're gonna assume this was either "tarragon" or "tartar sauce."

Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Zucchini
Fox

125. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Zucchini Burger

Season 3, Episode 3 -- "Bob Fires the Kids"
Zucchini rhymes with bikini. Yep, you can go home now.
 

124. Butterface Burger (served with butter lettuce)

Season 3, Episode 3 -- "Bob Fires the Kids".
 

123. National Pass-Thyme Burger

Season 3, Episode 23 -- "The Unnatural"
Better than "Summer Thyme," but still not quite up to par. Perhaps they need to spend more thyme on their thyme puns.
 

122. Caper Magic to Yourself (comes with capers, also magic doesn't exist)

Season 4, Episode 10 -- “Presto-Tina-o”
 

121. Edward James Olive-most Burger

Season 4, Episode 7 -- "Bob and Deliver"
If I'm being honest, at first I didn't know who Edward James Olmos was, since Battlestar Galactica has been on my "still need to watch" list for a while, and that kinda brought this ranking down, but still a solid enough pun.
 

120. Beets Me Burger

Season 3, Episode 3 -- "Bob Fires the Kids"
#Basic.
 

119. Sprouts! Sprouts! Sprouts It All Out! Burger

Season 4, Episode 3 -- "Seaplane!"
This one started off on the right foot, but went downhill when they tried to replace "let" with "sprouts."
 

118. Beet-er Late Than Never Burger

Season 5, Episode 3 -- "Friends with Burger-fits"
 

117. To Err Is Cumin Burger

Season 4, Episode 18 -- "Ambergris"
Into it!

The Roquefort Files
Fox

116. The Roquefort Files Burger

Season 1, Episode 4 -- "Sexy Dance Fighting"
I apologize for not having heard of The Rockford Files, but cheese!
 

115. Winter Muensterland Burger (with muenster cheese, side of snow peas)

Season 4, Episode 11 -- "Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial"
 

114. So Many Fennel So Little Thyme Burger (comes with lots of fennel, no thyme)

Season 3, Episode 22 -- "Carpe Museum"
This would have been way lower in the rankings if not for the whole "lots of fennel, no thyme" part.
 

113. Let It Snow Peas Burger

Season 5, Episode 11 -- "Can't Buy Me Math"
 

112. Top Bun Burger (comes on our best seven-grain bun)

Season 3, Episode 20 -- "The Kids Run the Restaurant"
 

111. Girls Just Wanna Have Fennel Burger

Season 2, Episode 7 -- "Moody Foodie"
This is like Cyndi Lauper gone vegan.
 

110. Chevre Which Way But Loose Burger

Season 1, Episode 4 -- "Sexy Dance Fighting"
 

109. I'm OK, You're Ok-ra Burger

Season 4, Episode 7 -- "Bob and Deliver"

Sweaty Palms Burger
Fox

108. Sweaty Palms Burger (comes with hearts of palm)

Season 2, Episode 8 -- "Bad Tina"
The idea of sweaty palms and a burger kinda grosses me out, but this pun is on point, and hearts of palm are delicious.
 

107. Use It or Bleus It Burger (comes with bleu cheese)

Season 2, Episode 3  --  "Synchronized Swimming"
 

106. She's a Super Leek Burger (comes with braised leeks)

Season 3, Episode 6 -- "The Deepening"
 

105. Something's NOT Fishy Burger (100% beef)

Season 1, Episode 12 -- "Lobsterfest"
:: golf clap::
 

104. The Grand Brie Burger

Season 5, Episode 9 -- "Speakeasy Rider"
 

103. The Garden of Eden Burger (served with apple)

Season 5, Episode 10 -- “Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise”
 

102. Say It Ain't Cilantro Burger (Doesn’t come with cilantro… because cilantro is terrible)

Season 3, Episode 1 -- "Ear-sy Rider"
THIS IS EVERYTHING. Also, has Weezer considered changing their lyrics to this? It's never too late, Rivers.
 

101. Don't Give Me No Chive Burger (served with no chives)

Season 3, Episode 7 -- "Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks"

Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger
Fox

100. Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger

Season 4, Episode 16 -- "I Get Psy-chic Out of You"
 

99. I Heartichoke You Burger

Season 3, Episode 13 -- "My Fuzzy Valentine"
You do?!?!
 

98. The Jack-O-Lentil Burger

Season 3, Episode 2 -- "Full Bars"
 

97. One Horse Open Slaw (comes with slaw, no horse)

Season 3, Episode 9 -- "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins"
 

96. Band on the Bun (comes with wings)

Season 2, Episode 4 -- "Burgerboss"
The song is by Wings! And it comes with wings! Keep it up.
 

95. Only the Provolonely Burger (comes with provolone)

Season 3, Episode 14 -- "Lindapendent Woman"
 

94. The Sound & the Curry Burger

Season 1, Episode 10 -- "Burger Wars"
 

93. I Don't Bay Leaf in Magic Burger

Season 4, Episode 10 -- "Presto Tina-o"
 

92. Shake Your Honeymaker Burger (comes with honey mustard)

Season 2, Episode 3  --  "Synchronized Swimming"

Hit Me With Your Best Shallot
Fox

91. Hit Me With Your Best Shallot Burger

Season 1, Episode 10 -- "Burger Wars"
Shallots are pretty small, so it probably wouldn't hurt that much.
 

90. I Came I Saw the Coleslaw Burger

Season 4, Episode 18 -- “Ambergris”
 

89. Knife to Meet You Burger (with thinly sliced beets)

Season 5, Episode 12 -- “The Millie-churian Candidate” 
 

88. Sit and Spinach Burger

Season 2, Episode 8 -- "Bad Tina"
 

87. Sweet Chili O’Mine Burger

Season 5, Episode 14 -- “L’il Hard Dad”
Chili > children.
 

86. We're Here We're Gruyere, Get Used to It Burger

Season 3, Episode 3 -- "Bob Fires the Kids"
 

85. Pepper Don't Preach Burger (with pepper)

Season 1, Episode 3 -- "Sacred Cow"
 

84. Olive and Let Die Burger (with olives)

Season 1, Episode 6 -- "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?"
 

83. Let's Get Frisée Burger

Season 3, Episode 6 -- "The Deepening"
Who knew greens could be so fun?!?

;I've Created a Muenster Burger
Fox

82. I've Created a Muenster Burger

Season 1, Episode 11 -- "Weekend at Mort's"
 

81. Home for the Challah-Days Burgers (comes on a challah roll)

Season 3, Episode 9 -- "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins"
Hanukkah humor is always a good idea.
 

80. Don't Go Brocking My Heart Burger (with broccoli & artichoke hearts)

Season 3, Episode 11 -- "Nude Beach"
Well played, but I keep thinking of Brock from Pokemon. He would never brock my heart.
 

79. The Longest Chard Burger

Season 4, Episode 11 -- "Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial"
 

78. Totally Radish Burger (comes with radish)

Season 1, Episode 5 -- "Hamburger Dinner Theatre"
 

77. Shoe String Around the Rosey Burger

Season 5, Episode 10 -- “Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise”
We're gonna give 'em the benefit of the doubt and assume this comes with shoestring fries.
 

76. The One Yam Band Burger (comes with yams)

Season 2, Episode 3  --  "Synchronized Swimming"
Why does it come with yams plural if it's a one-yam band??? I've been told I ask the important questions in life.
 

75. Santa Claus Is Cumin to Town Burger (with cumin)

Season 3, Episode 9 -- "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins"

A Leek of Their Own Burger
Fox

74. A Leek of Their Own Burger

Season 4, Episode 4 -- "My Big Fat Greek Bob"
There's no crying in burgers.
 

73. The Saffron Saff-off Burger

Season 4, Episodes 21/22 -- "How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town Parts 1&2"
 

72. Rest in Peas Burger (comes with peas and carrots)

Season 1, Episode 3 -- "Sacred Cow"
 

71. "New Bacon-ings" (comes with bacon)

Season 1, Episode 1 -- "Human Flesh"
 

70. Not If I Can Kelp It Burger

Season 3, Episode 1 -- "Ear-sy Rider"
 

69. Free to Brie You and Me Burger

Season 3, Episode 23 -- "The Unnatural"
This is pretty much a classic.
 

68. ​Pickle My Funny Bone Burger

Season 3, Episode 7 -- "Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks"
 

67. Mushroom With a View Burger (porcini on a double decker)

Season 3, Episode 12 -- "Broadcast Wagstaff School News"

The Six Scallion Dollar Man Burger
Fox

66. The Six Scallion Dollar Man Burger

Season 5, Episode 15 -- “Adventures in Chinchilla-sitting”
 

65. Thank God It's Fried Egg Burger

Season 1, Episode 6 -- "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?"
 

64. Chorizo Your Own Adventure Burger

Season 2, Episode 5 -- "Food Truckin'"
Now THAT is a book I would read.
 

63. If Looks Could Kale Burger

Season 2, Episode 7 -- "Moody Foodie"
 

62. Beets of the Southern Wild Burger

Season 4, Episode 16 -- "I Get Psy-chic Out of You"
My old babysitter edited that movie, so I'm biased and stuff.
 

61. Salvador Cauliflower Burger

Season 1, Episode 8 -- "Art Crawl"
This burger is probably super surreal.
 

60. Tarragon in Sixty Seconds Burger

Season 3, Episode 16 -- "Topsy"
 

59. Krauted House Burger

Season 1, Episode 7 -- "Bed & Breakfast"

Cajun Gracefully Burger
Fox

58. Cajun Gracefully Burger

Season 5, Episode 7 -- “Tina Tailor Soldier Spy”
 

57. Blue Is the Warmest Cheese Burger

Season 5, Episode 9 -- "Speakeasy Rider"
This movie essentially disintegrated my heart, but I'm feelin' pretty neutral about this pun.
 

56. Camembert-ly Legal Burger

Season 1, Episode 7 -- "Bed & Breakfast"
This is what a weird amateur cheese porn would be called, probably.
 

55. The Child Molester (comes with candy)

Season 1, Episode 1 -- "Human Flesh"
Sorry???
 

54. These Collards Don't Run Burger

Season 1, Episode 4 -- "Sexy Dance Fighting"
I mean, duh, they're vegetables and they don't even exercise.
 

53. Good Night and Good Leek Burger

Season 2, Episode 4 -- "Burgerboss"
 

52. Bohemian Radishy Burger

Season 4, Episode 7 -- "Bob and Deliver"
 

51. Texas Chainsaw Massa-curd Burger (comes with cheese curds)

Season 5, Episode 2 -- "Tina and the Real Ghost"
For some reason this movie sounds a lot sadder when it's about cheese curds being massacred. That's just plain wrong.

Enoki Dokie Burger
Fox

50. Enoki Dokie Burger (comes with enoki mushrooms)

Season 4, Episode 15 -- "The Kids Rob A Train"
 

49. Little Swiss Bunshine (comes on a buttered bun)

Season 2, Episode 7 -- "Moody Foodie"
 

48. The Final Kraut Down Burger (comes with sauerkraut)

Season 2, Episode 7 -- "Moody Foodie"
Europe! Kraut! It's all coming together.
 

47. Freedom of Choys Burger (comes with bok choy)

Season 3, Episode 11 -- "Nude Beach"
 

46. Parma Parma Parma Chameleon Burger (with Parmesan crisp)

Season 4, Episode 20 -- "Gene It On"
 

45. Two Karat Burger (comes with two carrots)

Season 3, Episode 1 -- "Ear-sy Rider"
 

44. I Fought the Slaw Burger (And the Slaw Won)

Season 4, Episode 16 -- "I Get Psy-chic Out of You"
Dammit, Slaw, not again!
 

43. Kales From the Crypt Burger

Season 5, Episode 2 -- "Tina and the Real Ghost"
We're scared enough of kale as it is, geez.

Papaya Was A Rolling Stone
Fox

42. Papaya Was a Rolling Stone Burger 

Season 2, Episode 4 -- "Burgerboss"
 

41. Charbroil Fair Burger (comes with parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme)

Season 4, Episode 16 -- "I Get Psy-chic Out of You"
This burger would be a true love of mine.
 

40. Mission A-Corn-Plished Burger (comes with corn salsa)

Season 1, Episode 3 -- "Sacred Cow"
 

39. Bleu by You Burger (with locally sourced bleu cheese)

Season 4, Episode 20 -- "Gene It On"
Two puns for the price of one!
 

38. The Life of the Parsley Burger

Season 4, Episode 17 -- "The Equestranauts"
 

37. Mesclun Around Burger

Season 2, Episode 9 -- "Beefsquatch"
 

36. Parsnips-Vous Francais Burger

Season 5, Episode 3 -- “Friends with Burger-fits”
 

35. Shoot Out at the Okra Corral Burger

Season 1, Episode 9 -- "Spaghetti Western + Meatballs"
Hi, my name is Rachel, and I'm a sucker for okra puns.

Kale Mary Burger
Fox

34. Kale Mary Burger (served with kale)

Season 4, Episode 11 -- "Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial"
 

33. Neither Fish Nor Fowl Burger (100% beef)

Season 1, Episode 12 -- "Lobsterfest"
 

32. Hummus a Tune Burger

Season 4, Episode 18 -- “Ambergris”
 

31. Foot Feta-ish Burger (comes with feta cheese, intended to be Never Been Feta)

Season 1, Episode 2 -- "Crawl Space"
Louise has a real knack for improving burger names.
 

30. Fig-eta Bout It Burger

Season 1, Episode 4 "Sexy Dance Fighting"
 

29. Blondes Have More Fun-gus Burger (comes with mushrooms)

Season 5, Episode 7 -- “Tina Tailor Soldier Spy”
This really turns that classic compliment on its head, and I like it.
 

28. Chipotle Off the Old Block Burger

Season 3, Episode 7 -- "Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks"
 

27. Chard to a Crisp Burger

Season 2, Episode 2 -- "Bob Day Afternoon"
 

26. A Good Manchego Is Hard to Find Burger

Season 5, Episode 10 -- “Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise”
So true. I've been to, like, three cheese counters today.

It's Fun to Eat at the rYeMCA
Fox

25. It's Fun to Eat at the rYeMCA (comes on rye w/ mustard, cheese & avocado)

Season 2, Episode 6 -- "Dr. Yap"
 

24. Run Gorgonzola Run Burger (made with gorgonzola)

Season 5, Episode 5 “Best Burger”
 

23. Open Sesame Burger (served open-faced on a sesame seed bun)

Season 3, Episode 7 -- "Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks"
This pun is literally hilarious.
 

22. Don't Get Creme Fraiche With Me Burger

Season 2, Episode 9 -- "Beefsquatch"
 

21. I Know Why the Cajun Burger Sings

Season 3, Episode 16 -- "Topsy"
I need answers.
 

20. Onion Ring Around the Rosemary

Season 4, Episode 19 -- "The Kids Run Away"
 

19. Sgt. Poblano Pepper Lonely Artichoke Hearts Club Burger

Season 4, Episode 19 -- “The Kids Run Away”
 

18. Jingle Bell Pepper Burger

Season 3, Episode 9 -- "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins"
 

17. Let's Give 'Em Something Shiitake 'Bout Burger

Season 5, Episode 16 -- “The Runaway Club”
I would like to talk about how A+ this pun is.

Paranormal Pepper Jack-tivity Burge
Bob's Burgers

16. Paranormal Pepper Jack-tivity Burger (comes with pepper Jack cheese)

Season 5, Episode 2 -- "Tina and the Real Ghost"
 

15. Don't You Four Cheddar 'Bout Me Burger (comes with four kinds of cheddar)

Season 3, Episode 14 -- "Lindapendent Woman"
I don't forget about one kind of cheddar, let alone four. Who do you think I am??
 

14. Cheeses Is Born Burger (comes with baby Swiss cheese)

Season 5, Episode 6 -- "Father of the Bob"
Praise this burger!!!
 

13. Last of the Mo-jicama (comes with jicama)

Season 1, Episode 5 -- "Hamburger Dinner Theatre"
 

12. Curd-fect Strangers Burger (comes with cheese curds)

Season 5, Episode 13 -- ”The Gayle Tales”
 

11. Chile Relleno-You-Didn't Burger

Season 3, Episode 17 -- "Two for Tina"
Oh yeah, they did. This one is stuffed with punniness. See what I did there?
 

10. The Human Polenta-pede Burger

Season 5, Episode 2 -- "Tina and the Real Ghost"
 

9. Plymouth Roquefort Burger

Season 3, Episode 5 -- "An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal"
The pilgrims really missed out.

Fifth Day of Christmas
Bob's Burgers

8. Fifth Day of Christmas Burger (comes with five golden rings of onion)

Season 3, Episode 9 -- "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins"
This is incredibly clever. Now pass the onion rings.
 

7. Beets of Burden Burger (served with too many beets)

Season 5, Episode 8 -- “Midday Run”
THIS IS SO GOOD. But how many beets are we talkin' here?
 

6. Eggers Can't Be Cheesers (with fried egg & cheese)

Season 3, Episode 11 -- "Nude Beach"
The very build of this burger contradicts this pun, but it works so well that I'll let it slide... into my stomach.
 

5. Poblano Picasso Burger

Season 1, Episode 8 -- "Art Crawl"
Yes.
 

4. Poutine on the Ritz Burger (comes with poutine fries)

Season 2, Episode 9 -- "Beefsquatch"
Ritz crackers would have been an excellent addition, but I'm still pretty obsessed with this one.
 

3. The Silentil Night Burger (comes with lentils)

Season 3, Episode 9 -- "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins"
Lentils really are so small and quiet! 
 

2. Gourdon-Hamsey Burger (comes with squash & ham)

Season 4, Episode 5 -- "Turkey in a Can"
The man himself must have been so proud, as this two-punned name is the opposite of a Nightmare.
 

1. The Cauliflower's Cumin From Inside the House Burger (comes with cauliflower & cumin)

Season 4, Episode 2 -- "​Fort Night"
This might definitely be my favorite double-pun combo in the goddamn world. Also, I would totally watch more horror movies if they all involved vegetables and Mediterranean spices instead of phone calls and axe murderers.

Rachel Freeman is a Food/Drink editorial assistant at Thrillist and might need to take a break from puns after putting this article together. Follow her to only half of four bottles of wine: @rachelifreeman.