13. Cool Ranch
“But Writer on an Internet Site I Read on the Bus,” you say, taking this more personally than psychologically reasonable, “Cool Ranch is the best flavor. I hope you choke on a Doritos shard. Also, this is my stop.” Well, Angry Internet Friend, there’s a simple answer to the low ranking. I don’t like ranch. And it’s my ranking, dammit. Plus, you’re probably the kind of person who thinks nothing of dumping Cool Ranch chips in the same bowl as Nacho Cheese. Which is to say, stop ruining my birthdays. And also, thanks for reading!
12. Jacked Spicy Street Taco
The chip’s thicker, and it’s incredible for munching. But these make me miss the now-defunct Enchilada flavor. Because it just kind of tastes like taco seasoning with a little Cholula. That’s not a bad thing, but when I think Jacked, I think of Hugh Jackman in Wolverine (shink!), not empty promises. It's the X-Men: First Class of Doritos: pretty good, but kind of forgettable.