2) You've been to a pretty damn nice sushi restaurant and you've ordered the omakase, or a lot of sashimi
3) You've noticed that the wasabi at your table is light green with a grated texture, and a more herbal, grassy, slower burn
4) The restaurant had the option of a different wasabi on the menu for a dollar or two more
5) After 20 minutes, your wasabi wasn't nearly as powerful as it was when you first got your plate
6) You unintentionally befriended a wasabi root salesman named Ted while waiting for your table and Ted saw a little bit of his impetuous, sassy, and sweaty younger self in you, so before he left he winked at the server, slipped him a $10, and told him, “Put the real stuff on my buddy’s plate, OK?"