Whether you've got an inner fat kid, or
are hideously overweight have repressed that part of your life, we've taken the heavy lifting of rounding up this week's craziest eats from across the nation. Because everyone knows that if fat kids need one thing, it's less heavy lifting. First up, that Godsend of a hybrid right up above
Eggs Benedict Waffle
Waffle Wagon, Seattle
This Frankenfood, which combines two
'Merican! French and Belgian classics, solves the age-old problem of how to contain a Hollandaise flood. Now if only the waffle could contain your flood of tears upon seeing this thing...
Get drizzled with Hollandaise and sprinkled with bacon bits in the full story
Mountain of Pulled Pork Topped with Onion Rings
Eden East, Austin
They try to trick you by calling this a tomato salad with pulled pork, but don't be fooled. This is an enormous pile of pulled pork, topped with onion rings.
Who'da thunk climbing a mountain could be as easy as stuffing your face?
Loaded Carne Asada Fries
Carne asada, pepper jack, pico de gallo, guacamole, jalapeno-lime crema. Come on. The bowl has a handle, for God's sake.
There ARE fries under there, we promise
Monkfish Scoop with Miso Glaze
Nozawa Bar, Los Angeles
I scream, you scream, we all scream for... an ice cream scoop of pate-like monkfish, doused in a miso glaze.
Sexy sushi slideshow, right this way...
Branded Breakfast All Day Burger
A burger loaded with hash browns, a fried egg, American cheese, and bacon, covered in maple syrup, and then plopped onto a bun that's BRANDED WITH A FLAMING HOT IRON.
Check out how they do it, right here
Foie Gras Push-Pop
B Too, DC
The plate's got foie gras terrine with lace cookies and pear, but the main event is a fois gras freakin' push-pop. Eight-year-old you would have spat it out, and now you can only drool...
Push it right on over here