1. DUI Fries
Dino's Chicken and Burgers (Los Angeles, CA)
Approximate calorie count: 1,580
A more appropriate name? ICU Fries. Because eating a bucket of fried spuds buried in an avalanche of chili, cheese, carne asada, and pastrami has a 900% higher probability of giving you a heart attack than anything else on this list. We know, because we received a B- in science class in 10th grade.
We found the second-best order at 10 other LA restaurants...
Liz Childers is a food/drink editorial assistant at Thrillist and would not be able to give up DUI Fries for 15 minutes, but would feel badly if her parents thought she'd do badly on her SATs because of it. Follow her to chili cheese-covered standardized tests at @lizchilders1.