1. The Triple Coronary Bypass (aka The Super Stack Burger)
Vortex Bar & Grill (address and info)
Approximate calorie count: 4,172
Obviously, the eatery that touts deep-fried, bacon-wrapped hot dogs as totally normal menu items (have we mentioned we feel a deep, lasting connection to the Vortex?), has a food challenge dubbed after the emergency surgery looming in your future. Just look at the grilled cheese buns of this double-decker bacon, American cheese, and fried egg burger. Oh, and all the cheese sauce-covered spuds that you'll absolutely have room for after the burger, because screw it... that hospital bill's gonna be the same no matter what.
You'll need a triple bypass after all of ATL's food challenges...
Liz Childers is an editorial assistant for Thrillist eat/drink, and had two bacon-wrapped dogs last time she was at the Vortex. She regrets NOTHING. Follow her: @lizchilders1.