1. French fry pizza
Approximate calorie count: 2,004
While you'd normally not want to touch anything thrown together from the remnants of someone's deep freezer -- freezer-burned crab puffs are not snow crab, dude -- the French fry pizza will, at least, make you want to befriend more 19-year-olds with regular cases of the munchies. Because we can only assume that's how this pizza that has a 2lb bag of frozen fries as its base came into being. Either that or... nope, that's totally how it came into being.
We recommend chowing down on this whole. Don't share it. Seriously...
Liz Childers is a food & drink editorial assistant at Thrillist, and would like a fried chicken waffle cone for each hand, please. Follow her at @lizchilders1.