Food & Drink

Fat Kid Fridays, May 30th edition: The week's most ridiculous eats, ranked by calorie count

Memorial Day marked the beginning of beach season... especially for people who don't wear T-shirts in the pool. For the rest of us, longer days simply mean more hours to demolish things like a 7lb, six-patty burger topped with poutine and pulled pork, or just lay low with a three-flavor banana split. You might need a bigger T-shirt next time you hit the pool.

4. Soulrrito 2
Papalote Mexican Grill (San Francisco, CA
Approximate calorie count: 930
This is not our first rodeo with the mac & cheese/fried chicken marriage, but that didn't make it any easier to notdrool over this burrito: there's a serving of cheesy noodles cuddled up with peppery fried chicken strips and slow-simmered greens all under a warm blanket of Papalote's roasted salsa. That's a happy marriage. 
The Soulrrito sold out in 30 minutes last time, so grab the deets on how to snag it...

3. Banana Split
Cloud 10 Creamery (Houston, TX
Approximate calorie count: 1,579
A regular banana split -- the ice cream kind, not the creepy old kids show kind -- is a thing of beauty. One made by one of Texas's best creameries that crams Nutella, vanilla, and chocolate ice creams between two split bananas and covers it with whipped cream, candied pecans, fudge sauce, or streusel is simply blinding in its radiance.
This is from one of the 21 best ice cream shops in America. Here are the other 20...

2. Whole Peking Duck
Decoy (New York, NY)  
Approximate calorie count: 2,000
Sure, it's meant to be shared with the table, but have you ever tried a slice of juicy duck breast enclosed in a thick layer of skin that is perfectly crispy and brown thanks to duck fat bubbling up while the bird cooked and then said, "Oh, yeah, I'm going to stop eating now"? Exactly. And it won't happen this time either, so just get your mind set to man up and tackle this crispy baby solo. 
The other new additions to NYC's restaurant line-up are also stellar...

1. Da Ultimate Dirty Burger Challenge
Big Chris BBQ Smokehouse (Barrie, Ontario)
Approximate calorie count: 7,622
In the great continental war of fattest country, Canada has politely sat back and let the US and Mexico fight it out -- but now we know what the Great White North is truly capable of, thanks to this monster of a burger that cuts more like a giant birthday cake (editor's note: BBQ sauce > icing). This monstrosity comes packed with six 8oz patties, 2lbs of pulled pork, a vat of poutine, and bacon and cheese layered on every prime-rib patty. We never thought we'd say this... but you win, Canada. 
We've also got Ontario options outside Toronto that won't send you to the doctor...

Liz Childers is an editorial assistant on Thrillist's national food/drink team. Her birthday is in July. Please contact her at @lizchilders1 to get shipping information for the bacon-cheeseburger-pulled pork-sandwiches you would like to send in lieu of cake.