1. Bloody Mary
Approximate calorie count: 4,272
A healthy, boring person once told us to stop drinking our calories, and to that person, we raise this Bloody Mary that'll let us eat a solid 4,000+ calories just so we can drink. Actually, we can't toast with it, because it’d probably fall over. But we sure can flaunt the concoction in all its foot-long sub/pizza/fried chicken-topped glory. Cheers, Spring. Please don't kill us.
There's garlic bread, onion rings, and French fries in there, too...
Liz Childers is a food/drink editorial assistant at Thrillist and would like to formally ask Mr. Liedtke to be her best friend, since his drink combines all of her favorite foods. Follow her declarations of love at @lizchilders1.