1. The Tucker Duke Burger
Tucker Duke's Lunchbox (address and info)
Various locations, FL
Approximate calorie count: 1,435
We don't know you, Tucker Duke, but God bless you for making a burger that's half-composed of golden-fried onion rings. Plus there's American cheese, lettuce (meh), tomato (fine), and Tucker sauce (um?) to round out both this thing and your profile. Even better, this sucker's $5 on Tuesdays, which makes a strong case for Tucker Duke as Humanitarian of the Year.
There are soooo many tasty burgers in Florida for you to try...
Rachel Freeman is a Food/Drink editorial assistant at Thrillist and thinks there should totally be a movie remake called Tucker & Duke vs. Evil, starring this burger. Follow her to really great ideas: @rachelifreeman.