2. The Robert Lynch Sandwich
Bub & Pop's (address and info)
Approximate calorie count: 1,454
I have no idea who Robert Lynch is, but, dammit, someone buy that guy a beer. His namesake sandwich is basically my spirit animal just because of the sheer number o' fresh-made mozz sticks it's loaded with. Oh, and they're on top of a Philly cheesesteak swimming in marinara, which is, in turn, on top of a Bolognese sauce made with meatballs, sausage, AND pork belly. Then it's all sprinkled with Pecorino. Bless you, Bob, you magnificent bastard.
But this isn't the only crazy new DC sandwich you can get your hands on...