The week's most ridiculous eats, from an 8lb pizza burger to a giant ball of chocolate mousse
This week, it was announced that '90s cult classic TV show Twin Peaks would be resurrected from its damn fine coffee-soaked grave in 2016. That means the next year will be filled with binges, both of the series and of cherry pie and donuts. To prepare, we recommend upping your calorie count by dipping into Fat Kid Friday's stash, which, this week, includes a pizza burger that weighs as much as a baby and a monstrous mound of chocolate mousse. But not chocolate bunnies. Sorry Coop.
4. Maine Mac
mac-O-licious (address and info)
Los Angeles, CA
Approximate calorie count: 1,069
Is there even a point to eating mac & cheese if there's no lobster involved? Trick question: There's always a point to eating mac. That said, if there is lobster involved, there's waaaay more of a point. Recently opened as a brick-and-mortar, mac-O-licious lives up to its name, serving up a whole roster of rich, gooey macs. And while we don't discriminate when it comes to mac & cheese (or, really, any food for that matter), we must admit we're partial to the Maine Mac, which is loaded with Gruyere, cheddar, and fresh Maine lobster meat.
You definitely don't want to miss out on all the other mac options they offer though...
3. Chocolate Mousse Croquant
Chez Bon Bon (address and info)
Approximate calorie count: 1,952
Serving all manner of decadent desserts and well-crafted confections at equally decadent prices, this croquant is more than worth your hard-earned dollars. Simply and mouth-wateringly stated, this is a big ball of chocolate mousse with pralines and crème brûlée. And really, that's all you need to know... well, that and it's fun to ask for "mousse balls".
Miami's got tons of other awesome new restaurants to check out too...
2. Mt. Fuji Burger
Katsu Burger (address and info)
Approximate calorie count: 2,493
Why choose between a beef patty, a pork cutlet, or a chicken breast, when you can have 'em all... and on one very-stressed bun? Truly taking its name to (increasingly weak) heart, this beast of a burger is a serious mountain of meat, boasting the three aforementioned types, all tempura-battered and deep-fried, then topped with cheddar, pepper Jack, and American cheeses, bacon, a fried egg, spicy mayo, wasabi mayo, tonkotsu sauce, and some vegetables that no one really cares about (sorry, Mom). Eating it might be a kamikaze move, but at least you'll die with honor.
But don't skip all the other sweet things to do in Seattle this weekend...
1. Pizza Burger
Approximate calorie count: 7,795
In 2010, Burger King came out with a short-lived, Times Square-exclusive, 9.5in, 2,500cal Pizza Burger, and, while we were impressed and inspired, it just wasn't enough. We needed more. And so we took it upon ourselves to make it happen, because we are self-sufficient, productive members of society. Our copycat pizza burger is a 12in wide, whopping (get it?!?!) 7,795cal beast that uses a huge homemade bun and tons of ground beef, mozzarella, and pepperoni. You could share this with six of your favorite friends, but really, what have they ever done for you? Chew on that, and then chew on this entire thing by yourself, alone, in the dark... for about four days.
If you wanna eat this, you're gonna have to make it first...
Rachel Freeman is a Food/Drink editorial assistant at Thrillist, and had a minor heart attack when she found out about the Twin Peaks revival. Cheese is the Coop to her Audrey. Follow her to the Double R at @rachelifreeman.