Presstea (address and info)
New York, NY
Approximate calorie count: 1,294
The only way to make Cup Noodles better/infinitely less healthy is to layer it burrito-style with a thick blanket of melted Jack and cheddar cheeses, tangy BBQ and chipotle sauces, greens and onions and corn -- because you aren't eating those veggies anywhere else -- and slow-roasted pulled pork. You could just dump all that in the Styrofoam cup after you microwave it in your dorm, but the burrito route just seems like the smarter vehicle, and you, college student, are smart. Plus, slow-roasting a pork butt in a dorm room will probably get you in trouble.
Or you could get the Ramenrrito with steak, chicken, and pulled pork mixed together...