Food & Drink

Man's favorite food, in every year of his life

timeline
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

It can be tough to pick your favorite food, especially if your frontal lobe isn't developed enough to process language. But whether or not you can verbalize a distinct preference for pureed pears over mashed sweet potatoes, there's probably still a magic bite that puts a twinkle in your eye.

So we here at Thrillist have calculated every man's favorite foods, from the age when he can't chew, up until the age when he can't chew.
 

Milk
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

0. Milk from Mom's boobs. Will seem gross later, but is now the equivalent of a $5 shake.

1. Mashed pears

2. Mashed sweet potatoes

3. Chocolate pudding

4. Peanut butter and jelly

5. SpaghettiOs

6. Grilled cheese, rectangles

grilled cheese
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

7. Grilled cheese, triangles. Made by best friend's Mom.

8. Pizza!

9. Fast-food kids' meal

10. Something that has to do with a cable cartoon show. Likely cereal.

11. Any restaurant with a soft-serve machine

12. Olive Garden

13. Grilled cheese, triangles. Made by the Mom of the girl next door.

Pizza
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

14. Pizza!

15. A fast-food restaurant that is close enough to walk to from your high school

16. Taco Bell

17. Mongolian barbecue

18. Waffles topped with ice cream from an awesome college dining hall

19. Italian sub from an iconic college sandwich shop

Taco Bell
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

20. Taco Bell

21. Cheap keg beer

22. The most notable dish from the country you studied abroad in

23. Bar pizza that comes free with the purchase of a beer

24. Cereal

Bacon
Shutterstock / Jennifer Bui

25. Bacon

26. Cheap cuts of steak cooked on a stovetop in a cracked ceramic pan that was a housewarming gift from Mom several apartments ago

27. Cheap happy hour sushi rolls

28. Pork belly prepared creatively

29. Tonkotsu ramen, slurped loudly

30. The crippling taste in the back of your mouth that your life is over (also, pizza)

31. BBQ, brisket or pork ribs depending on geography

32. Extremely unaffordable sushi, paid for with a credit card

33. Brussels sprouts, prepared in a fusion style that includes duck fat or bacon or both

34. Chinese takeout with a side order of guilt

Olives
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

35. Olives

36. Italian sandwich from a legendary sandwich shop very close to your office

37. Frozen pizza (budget temporarily tightened due to being far behind on your 401k)

38. Charcuterie plate

39. Raw oysters by the dozen

40. Wood-fired pizza with several "exotic" types of meat like capicola

41. Bone-in ribeye prepared medium-rare by your wife

42. Big salad

43. Frozen lasagna out of a box while you're going through your mid-life crisis/divorce

44. Bone-in ribeye prepared medium-rare by your much younger girlfriend

45. Sports bar burger because your much younger girlfriend broke up with you

46. Sports bar burger because you actually just started liking sports bar burgers

47. Buttermilk pancakes drenched in real maple syrup

48. The passed appetizers at your nephew's wedding

49. Apple pie

McDonald's Breakfast
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

50. McDonald's breakfast

51. Burgers, charred on a Weber grill in your backyard

52. Ravioli from a greasy spoon neighborhood Italian joint where they should know your name by now but don't and it's a little embarrassing

53. Chinese takeout, side of extra General Tso's

54. Diet that was trendy 10 years ago

55. A favorite food from your early 30s that now gives severe heartburn

56. Pecan pie

57. Turkey sandwich from a shop close to the office that one of your younger coworkers introduced you to

58. Ice cream!

59. Christmas ham

60. Bacon and eggs (weekends only)

61. Casserole of the Week

62. Spaghetti and meatballs, prepared by the woman you settled down with after that much younger girlfriend didn't pan out

63. Thanksgiving turkey

64. Steak

65. The Twizzlers you sneak when you're avoiding eating the regimen of fruits and vegetables prescribed by your doctor to combat high blood pressure from all that steak

66. Steak, to celebrate your blood pressure being lower

67. Retirement cake

Cigars
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

68. Cigars

69. Anything your wife still lets you eat

70. Anything you can successfully hide from your wife

71. Potato salad

72. Pork ribs, must be falling off the bone and not require much chewing

73. Olive Garden

74. Candy

75. Birthday cake

Pudding
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

76. Chocolate pudding

77. Thanksgiving sweet potatoes

78. Mashed pears

79. Chocolate pudding

Milk
Dan Gentile / Jennifer Bui

80. Milk. Definitely not from Mom's boobs.

Dan Gentile is a staff writer on Thrillist's National Food and Drink team. He is 30-years-old and can't wait until 31 when he can get this foul taste out of his mouth. Follow him to age-based anxiety at @Dannosphere.