The best cheeseburger order at Five Guys:
Little cheeseburger with grilled onions, barbecue sauce, mayonnaise, jalapeños, and pickles. I’m not a fan of doubling up the meat on burgers (I’d rather just eat two burgers, and vary the condiments), so I like a single patty, but there is some sort of alchemy to mixing barbecue sauce and mayonnaise, and when you combine that with the acid from the pickles and the heat from the fresh jalapeños, it’s a pretty damn glorious burger.
There are other winners on the menu, too. The extra spice in the "Cajun" fries are clearly superior to the regular fries, and I very much appreciated the fact that they wrote on a chalkboard where the potatoes came from that day (last visit it was B&S Farms in Saint Anthony, Idaho). The standard hot dog is cut butterfly-style down the middle and griddled, which should be the only way you cook a hot dog. Add relish and mustard and raw onions, and you will feel more American and look wise beyond your years.
The milkshakes are all delicious, but I truly struck gold when, after hearing an Elvis song en route to the restaurant, I ordered a bacon, banana, and chocolate milkshake. Every other sip, I sucked up a tiny piece of real bacon, and the chewy saltiness combined with the banana and chocolate was a damn delight.
But the most delicious thing on the whole menu was something I only heard whispered about in Reddit threads and banner ad-draped corners of the Secret Menu Internet: the patty melt.
Essentially it's just a grilled cheese, but with an added burger patty and grilled onions. The patty melt benefits from the fact that they flip over a regular bun and double grill it with what would normally be the inside of the bun as the outside, and two layers of cheese encasing the burger patty. The grilled onions in the mix makes the entire thing a gooey, griddled delight. Honestly, I can't recommend it enough. I ate the entire thing AFTER I'd sampled two burgers, two hot dogs, two other sandwiches, two orders of fries, and two milkshakes. I think my body created another stomach just to sate my needs.