The "Healthy" Eater
He equates the word “organic” with healthy, which completely justifies a morning ritual of steamed organic whole milk with 14 pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup.
The Authenticity Seeker
The best days of his life are the ones where he realizes he is the only white person in a restaurant, because that is the ultimate sign of authenticity. His favorite restaurant is a Korean BBQ that’s actually run by a Japanese family.
She hasn’t had a hot meal in years, mainly because she spends five minutes meticulously photographing each dish from multiple angles. This doesn’t stop her from sending each dish back because it’s cold.
The Tableside Critic
He spends most of the meal commenting on each and every ingredient, and punctuating each sentence with weird and semi-pornographic grunts. Each sentence includes at least one of the following words: dry, succulent, transcendent, uninspired, pedestrian, ambitious, flat, robust, and panoply. He often produces a small notepad from thin air and scribbles in it while smiling smugly.