Are you someone with a strong affinity for rum-swilling murderers? Or just really lame jokes about movies that are rated AAARRR? Krispy Kreme is rewarding your weird interests with free glazed donuts today, on Talk Like a Pirate Day... provided, of course, you adopt Blackbeard's dialect. The offer is good all day at participating locations (basically everywhere except Puerto Rico and, oddly, Connecticut), but you can score even more booty if you take this stunt further. Anyone wearing full pirate regalia gets a dozen glazed Krispy Kremes. Just make sure that parrot you rented for "authenticity" doesn't eat them all.
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist, and wonders if singing selections from Muppet Treasure Island will get her a second donut. Follow her to Old Tom, Real Old Tom, and Dead Tom at @kristin_hunt.