M is for Mac and Cheese
Before scientific advancements like truffle oil, cast-iron pans, and more than one type of cheese, there was that gloriously gushy Velveeta atop a mountain of starchy shells.
Unlike most kids, I skipped the blue-box Kraft Macaroni & Cheese dinner phase of adolescence altogether because of a strange phobia of foodstuffs that were the same color as the sun. But, once I hit middle school, my mother introduced me to perhaps the boldest flavor I'd ever experienced: a symphony of sauce made from whey, pasteurized part-skim milk, milk protein concentrate, whey protein concentrate, maltodextrin, sodium phosphate, milk, salt, less than 2% canola oil, lactic acid, sodium alginate, sorbic acid as a preservative, artificial color, milkfat, cheese culture, oleoresin paprika, natural flavor, annatto, vitamin A palmitate, and enzymes. Velveeta, just like God intended it.
This silver bullet of scientifically designed savory endured as a staple of my diet until early college, when I stuffed a loaf of French bread full of my beloved Velveeta and ate the whole thing. My stomach quickly rebelled against the experiment and thus forever tainted the love for my hero in a half-shell.