We opened 350 fortune cookies... in bed!

laying in bed with fortune cookies

As an ode to the wisest of all cookies -- aside from the Fig Newton -- we cracked open a lifetime's worth* of fortune cookies to investigate which sound the funniest... in bed!! Because that's what people say to be hilarious. Keep scrolling for the results. *Calculated based on four Chinese food meals per year starting at birth until the age of 87.5

pay attention to your verbal cues
people rely on your dependability
people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care
our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks
perhaps you've been focusing too much on yourself
pass the bill to the person on your left
our greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising every time we fall
optimists believe we live in the best possible world and pessimists fear this is true
past experience: he who never makes mistakes never did anything that's worthy
throwing up fortune cookies in bed
over every mountain there is a path, but it might not be seen from the valley
people may doubt what you say but they believe what you do
digital circuits are made from analog parts
learn Chinese: dry cleaning
conscious is a man's compass
over self confidence is equal to being blind
people rise to your expectation
people have great respect for you
photographic memory. remember to put in film: or is it digital?
do not be overly judgemental of your loved ones' actions
cooking is easy. good taste is hard. that's why you call takeout
our first love and last love is self love
people try thing because they just don't want it enough
laying in bed with fortune cookies
people always know what they are saying just never listen
learn Chinese: bedroom
courtesy is the password to safety
opportunity is knocking at your front door