The tea incident, or how I learned to stop worrying and dose my mom with Bellinis
"When I was living at home, post-college, pre-job, all I would do is cruise job boards and smoke a ton of weed. Eventually, I got into making weed tea -- which isn’t too hard, and is just super, super relaxing. My Mom usually worked during the day at the public library. One day, as soon as I woke up, I cooked up a batch of extremely potent weed tea (I planned on watching Led Zeppelin: The Song Remains the Same and needed to get into the right mindset, of course). Unbeknownst to me, my Mom had off that day (a day of remembrance of the fourth of July! Damn you, America!) and was sleeping in while I was whipping up a batch. I left it on the stove, and my dear mother, mistaking it for a special act of son-ly goodness, drank a big steaming mug of it.
"In an effort to totally mask what I had just done, I quickly suggested we pop open a bottle of champagne, and make some brunch-time Bellinis. Never have I pressured my Mom to drink cheap champagne and peach puree so hard. But, she got pretty tipsy, and never even noticed how high she was. She kept on saying how strong the drinks were, and how nice a time she was having sitting out on our porch, drinking together and bonding. What a sweet, little, lovable lush." --Sarah, 23, Red Bank, NJ