Where there's a casino, there's a Fieri. Barely a month after alt-universe Joey Fatone dropped his Danger Wings on Atlantic City, he's set his sights on Baltimore's new gambling Mecca, Horseshoe. Guy Fieri's Baltimore Kitchen & Bar is now open for business at that casino, and it's got all the lunacy you've come to expect from the chef. Now that we've poured over the menu, here's what we're ready to order.
1. Brutha's Badass Caes-uh Salad
Apparently, it's the "mega-crouton" that gives this salad its badass edge and not, as we suspected, Donkey Sauce with anchovies.
Wonton taco shells stuffed with ahi and mango-jicama salsa (and drizzled with sweet soy and wasabi cream) make for the most important Chinese-Mexican crossover since huev-Tso's rancheros.
3. The Mayor of Flavortown Burger
That's be a pastrami burger with Swiss cheese, caraway seed slaw, dill pickles, onion straws, and Dijon mustard on an "awesome pretzel bun". We're just curious: is the mayor of Flavortown the only one allowed to eat this? Or will eating it make us the mayor?
4. Motley Que Ribs
These hard-rockin' St. Louis ribs are glazed with Guy's Signature Bourbon Brown Sugar BBQ sauce. We can't promise you girls, girls, girls if you order them, but we can promise Vince Neil will ask you for the leftovers.
5. Tatted-Up Turkey Burger
Smash-grilled with poblanos and pepper jack cheese, this bird also comes with sweet pepper red onion jam, ancho bacon, Donkey Sauce, and Gouda. It's unclear from the menu whether the patty actually comes inked, but we're holding out hope for a stunning Truffle Shuffle portrait.
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist. She would like to know who Brutha is and how he became the namesake for a badass salad. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.