"I look at her bowl, I look at the covered toppings, I look at the parts of the machine scattered over the counter, I look at my arm elbow-deep into the front of the machine, I look around to check and see if someone is peeking around a corner laughing at me, because there is no possible way. Finally, I answer, 'Uh… no?'
"'Well… you don't have to be so mean about it!' With that she huffs, turns on her heel, and storms off." -- Regina Cryner
Brent, the dining-hall tray hero
"I went to school on the East Coast and my freshman year was one of the snowiest on record. The campus was made up of big hills, so when we were walloped with our first blizzard all anyone could think of was going sledding. No one was prepared for the snow so we improvised. People brought out their laundry hampers and tried to use them with mixed success. Then our savior, Brent, appeared.
"Brent was a weird guy. He did stuff for the lulz before that was even a thing. He used to climb onto the buildings (his favorite way to get into his third-floor dorm room was to climb into the window). He would swim in the fountains, and he'd hold court with the squirrels on the green. He was a practical joker and shit stirrer, but somehow could always charm his way into places he shouldn't be.