“Try the malbec.”
Translation: There's no such thing as a light, full-bodied, fruity, and dry wine. You have no idea what you want, but this will do just fine.
“It's a very floral wine.”
Translation: It tastes like laundry detergent.
"Is this wine to your liking?"
Translation: Unless it tastes like the bottom of a well, this is the wine you'll be drinking tonight.
“Sure, I can change the thermostat.”
Translation: I will not be touching the thermostat.
“This is best enjoyed while it's still warm.”
Translation: Don't spend five minutes debating Instagram filters.