“Sure, I can itemize and split the check.”
Translation: Sure, I can ignore my other tables for 10 minutes so you can expense this meal easier.
“Is there anything else I can get you?”
Translation: I have a home too, and I want to go to there.
Translation: Yes, rush! I am not your indentured servant. There is an end point to this transaction, and you have reached it.
“No, you're not being high maintenance at all!”
Translation: At least you're self aware!
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Dan Gentile is a staff writer at Thrillist. He's typically being high maintenance and is rarely very self aware. Follow him to annoying all his server friends at @Dannosphere.