The Lazy Guide to Homemade Edibles

Two activities have risen to prominence in a new way during this period of quarantined life: smoking weed and cooking really good food at home. 

And with increased awareness around respiratory health, the two are being combined with renewed gusto. But a redundant regimen of infused chocolate and candy gets old, and not everyone lives down the block from a recreational dispensary. The good news is that you don’t have to shop at a dispensary to enjoy a variety of tasty edibles. And the even better news? You don’t have to spend money on a Magic Butter machine or hours making cannabis butter either.

If you’ve got some flower, creativity, and time to kill, preparing your own homemade edibles could be a matter of minutes away.

Of all the food trends and familiar ingredients that unite the disparate edible scenes of legal states, honey sticks are a surprisingly common factor. I’d venture to say there’s at least one brand in every legalized state producing THC-infused honey sticks that look identical to the sticks you enjoyed/dreaded as a kid. Numerous brands make hemp-derived CBD versions, but be sure you review that brand is transparent about lab results for their hemp ingredients. Then get drizzling on baked goods, oatmeal, a charcuterie board, or your afternoon tea.

For a little more effort and a lot more versatility, make yourself some homemade simple syrup with infused sugar (it’s still super easy). The usual formula is equal parts sugar and hot-to-boiling water (ex: 1/2 cup of each) stirred very well until the sugar is totally dissolved. If you’ve got a half-size Mason jar, it’s the perfect shaker and storage vessel. You can use it right away or let it cool and keep in the fridge for up to one week. It’ll be on hand to elevate any cold brew, sweet tea, cocktail, etc. with just a splash.

If you have a hair straightener, parchment paper, a metal or glass poker, and some flower, you are ready to make your own delicious, potent 10-second hash oil, perfect for making fresh-baked treats like a batch of double-strength chocolate chip cookies.

Step one: First, gently break down a couple decent sized buds and place in a little taco of parchment paper. Set the hair straightener to 200 degrees or the lowest setting if it doesn’t show the exact temperature.

Step two: Carefully place the parchment paper taco inside and apply very firm pressure for about three to seven seconds. Be careful not to burn yourself! If you hear a little sizzle, that’s a good sign.

Step three: Next, pull the parchment paper onto a cool surface to solidify for a second, and then toss the flattened nug and remaining plant material. Now it’s time to grab your collection tool for the painstaking, sticky process of scooping up the goods.

Step four: Prepare your balls of cookie dough on a baking sheet, and top each with a small bit of the finished material from the parchment paper. Bake the cookies per usual and enjoy with caution! These will be stronger than the usual five to 10 mg cookies and it’s recommended to wait at least an hour after eating a second cookie. Those less experienced with using cannabis should start with half a cookie.

Pro tip: If you want a slightly cleaner finished product, use a silkscreen as an extra filter for plant material. Twenty-five to 37 microns if you’re starting with kief or hash, and something larger like 90 microns for bud.

Pro lazy tip: Works the same on a batch of store-bought Toll House dough, too.

Brands like Potli exist for lazy gourmands like us. They make hemp-infused complements like chili oil made with the founder’s family recipe ($19 for three mini bottles, 10 mg CBD each) and cold-pressed olive oil ($45) with 15 mg CBD per tablespoon. Simply pick up a baguette and some hummus when this is all over and you’ve got a CBD appetizer ready for your first post-COVID kickback.

Are you halfway through an infused chocolate bar? Pop the rest in a glass bowl with a dollop of coconut oil, microwave it for one minute, stir well, then microwave it for another minute-ish, and boom: you’ve got yourself the makings for cannabis-chocolate-covered strawberries or whatever fruit you’ve got lying around. You know that dry, stale pot brownie your neighbor gave you – the one you totally forgot about? Break it up and crumble it over ice cream for an extra special topping. Getting high is in the eye of the beholder, and your options are limitless.

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