Douche diners: these are the people who ask their server to collect their used tissues, the customers who interrupt drink orders for a discussion of the safety schools they applied to in the ‘90s, or the patrons who, midway through their meal, ask their waiter to hurry up because they have a meeting in 20 minutes. All of this results in a server -- who just might be me -- who is less likely to give great service.
Most diners know not to ask for a third refill of free hot water with lemon, but they may be acting like a douche in less obvious ways. Here’s how to be a better diner. Please start by NEVER flagging down your waiter.
Have a general idea of what kind of food you want
Give your waiter a general guideline to your mood or preferences. Do you want to eat something light? Do you feel like eating meat? It's easy to recommend our best seafood dish. It’s much harder to tell you how to proceed through the entire meal.
Do not ask us to split or combine entrees
No, we can’t cut a piece of salmon in half because there’s nothing to do with the other bit but lose money on it. A half-portion makes sense for a large salad or other uniform dishes, like sides. But splitting a composed dish, which has been arranged to look and taste a certain way, makes absolutely no sense for anyone.