6. Thou shalt order the sofritas (spiced tofu) option once, and only once.
Mainly because you'll appreciate how great their meat is the next time you visit, but it doesn't taste too bad, either.
7. Thou shalt order the guacamole on every burrito and salad, regardless of the extra charge.
They should charge you more if you don't get it, because then maybe you'd stop being such a dumb-dumb and enjoy the best thing on the menu.
8. Thou shalt not say NO to the rice and beans in a burrito, taco, or bowl.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were training for an Ironman and can't eat carbs. If you just wanted grilled meat, why didn't you go to a kebab place?