Dress for spicy sexcess
They say the first thing women notice about you is your shoes, which makes sense, because women always look down when they see me approaching. But in Chipotle, the rules are different. Sure, shoes are still important, in that you need to wear them to avoid getting kicked out.
But don't stop there! You're aiming for a mysterious cross between "unemployed skater," "unemployed digital creative," and "entrepreneur," which, honestly, is really the same thing as those first two. Think about it: Chipotle customers run the gamut from college bros, to office workers, to extremely-hip-and-not-washed-up celebrities like Steven Tyler. You want to borrow styles from as many of these categories as possible, because in a recent study conducted by no one and peer-reviewed by me just now, burrito-loving women find balding, overweight, jargon-spewing egomaniacs extremely, irresistibly sexy. Especially when they're covering their hair loss with a hat. Brilliant!