But don't stop there! You're aiming for a mysterious cross between "unemployed skater," "unemployed digital creative," and "entrepreneur," which, honestly, is really the same thing as those first two. Think about it: Chipotle customers run the gamut from college bros, to office workers, to extremely-hip-and-not-washed-up celebrities like Steven Tyler. You want to borrow styles from as many of these categories as possible, because in a recent study conducted by no one and peer-reviewed by me just now, burrito-loving women find balding, overweight, jargon-spewing egomaniacs extremely, irresistibly sexy. Especially when they're covering their hair loss with a hat. Brilliant!
If you're feeling particularly saucy, consider wearing a name tag that identifies you as one of the Winklevoss twins. No one knows which is which, so they'll just assume you're the other one! [Editor's Note: This does not work.]