She gave us the tots back, which was fine, because everyone loves tots.
Well, not everyone, apparently. But enough to prove my initial thesis:
Guys, if you are going to be weird and creepy enough to swoop in on strangers and buy them something at a bar in an attempt to spark a dialogue, buy them something unique. Tater tots, onion rings, curly fries… pretty much anything you can grab a handful of and dip into ranch dressing.
Or just go on Tinder. It's probably easier -- and you definitely won't get neon martini swill on your shirt. I mean, at least not immediately.