How to Tell Your Friend They're a Bad Tipper

Man leaving tip on table
Sean Locke Photography/Shutterstock
Sean Locke Photography/Shutterstock

Picture it: you’re grabbing a late lunch with a buddy and everything is going great -- service is quick, your cheeseburger is well seared, and neither of you have once seen the bottom of your water glass. When the waitress drops the bill minutes after your request, you split it down the middle. You assume this dude, who in all known aspects seems like a decent human, is matching your 20% tip. Then, a couple of signatures later, he gets up to use the bathroom and you spot it: 10% tip and not a penny more.

You're in need of a tippervention

Calling attention to someone’s bad tipping habits without completely pissing them off is an art that requires careful, tactical deployment. But thankfully for you -- and any waitstaff your buddy may encounter -- we've put together a list of five proven strategies for politely confronting your stingier companions.
 

Tip #1: The In Case You Missed It 

If you tend to break up your workday with bouts of mindless scrolling and trolling, you know that there's never been a more topical time to start a tipping convo. The issue is everywhere

"Dude, have you been to Blue Smoke lately?" you'll say, idly dipping a French fry into garlic aioli. "I read somewhere that they just got rid of tipping -- how crazy is that? You really think a measly TWENTY TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT makes that much of a difference in the end? I don't even really think about it!" When used correctly, the ICYMI approach is a totally cool and casual way to introduce the subject without seeming accusatory. 

Woman on iPhone at dinner table with drinks
LDprod/Shutterstock

Tip #2: The Number Cruncher

This one’s simple: when the check comes, get out your phone and start punching away at the screen, scratching your head. "I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I just can’t figure this sucker out," you'll say. "Let’s see -- the total is $24.98, and the tip should be AT LEAST 20% of that, so, that's -- $5? Can I just see yours?" Then reach across the table for their receipt and watch their face turn firetruck red as they furiously scratch out totals. 
 

Tip #3: The Bad Date 

Start by asking your buddy about his single worst dating experience. Let them finish the horror story and be sure to seem particularly engaged throughout their rambling so they won’t suspect your motives. But when it comes time to share yours, leave nothing up to the imagination. "First of all, she looked absolutely nothing like her photos," you say, leaning in for emphasis, really drawing it out. "Which is, you know, to be expected, but man, I never realized how far a good filter could go. Then, between constant trips to the bathroom, this girl talks for an hour about how she and her ex adopted all these stray cats together and how her apartment reeks of piss now." Add as many details as you want -- the more terrifying, the better. Then, just when he thinks it can't possibly get any uglier, drop the closer: "And you know what the worst part was, after all of that? She demanded we split the tab, and then she only left the bartender 10%! Some people, am I right?”

Bartending talking and serving customers drinks
Maksym Poriechkin/Shutterstock

Tip #4: The Inside Man

Suggest meeting up for beers at a spot where you know the bartenders well, but plan to get there a few minutes early so you can warn the kind folks behind the taps about your drinking buddy's dismal tipping. I'd also recommend throwing them a few extra bones ahead of time to show your appreciation. In my experience, plenty of bartenders have no problem whatsoever confronting a customer about a shitty tip, especially if they know it’s coming. Once your friend arrives, sit back, sip your Scotch, and enjoy the impending rude awakening. Let's hope it leaves a mark.

Tip #5: The War Story

Bad tippers, almost without fail, are service-industry virgins. For whatever reason, these guys are guaranteed to have never spent a single summer handing over ice cream cones to snot-nosed toddlers or mopping up Guinness-scented vomit at 2am while the same damn Sublime song plays over and over on the jukebox. They have zero idea how the other half lives and that lack of life experience might just be to blame for their miserly ways.

Start the evening regaling them with hilarious stories from your time behind the bar and then, once you really have their attention, launch into an impassioned diatribe about a particularly awful tipper, and be sure to include the numbers. If this person has even an ounce of compassion, they'll think twice next time they go the 10% route.

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Meredith Heil is a freelance journalist, event producer, and an avid craft beer geek who throws beer-centric parties all over Brooklyn.