There's no wrong way to eat pizza -- unless you're a disgrace and eat it with a fork and knife (you know who you are). But did you know you're giving away actual clues about your personality when you're shoving all that pie into your pie hole?
While you were probably too busy enjoying your delicious pizza to think about it, dare we say cheesy new research by body language experts found that depending on how you chow on your 'za, you fall into one of four pizza-eating personality types: "drivers," "influencers," "supporters," or "careful correctors," according to a report by Cosmopolitan. Basically, people are making pizza way more complicated than it should be -- but then again, Cosmo also offers ridiculous sex tips.
So, where do you fit? Here's what the research found, according to the report:
You fold it: People who fold their pizza are multi-taskers and need to eat while doing something else. These people are so-called "drivers," if you want to use research terms. But most people call them "New Yorkers."
You just bite it: People who bite right into their pizza want to eat pizza the best way possible, and the way we all know works best. They also typically settle for the same toppings because they're "careful correctors" who just want the same result every time with no surprises.
You use a fork and knife: Folks who eat their pizza with a fork and knife are described as "methodical" eaters who like to stick with their routine. They're also the types who will make sure everyone in the group has been served a slice before digging into their own, which is really sweet of them. While the researchers say they're "supporters," we like to think of them as "wrong."
You eat the crust first: Apparently, if you approach your pizza from behind, you like to be different and boldly try new things. Friends think of these people as trendsetters, or in behavioral expert language, "influencers." Starting with the crust is sure to turn some heads, but you're all about the attention. Well, at least until the cheese slides off the front of your slice, in which case you're just a dumbass.
Well, there you have it. Let the awkward office pizza party behavior analysis begin!
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Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and has probably eaten pizza for half of his meals this week... and feels just fine. Send news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org and follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.