Day 7, Sunday: My brain may never be the same
I wake up. Eat two bowls of dry Waff. I think here, at the end of all things, I might have found some peace in my journey. Some zen among the hordes of rice crisps and sugar balls and fake marshmallows. Ultimately, I think I proved my point, though, now I kind of forget what that point was, or if I even had a point. I give myself a final weigh-in -- I've lost 5lb in one week, but the mental toll this cleanse has taken surprises me the most. I am slower, more air-headed, and less able to focus. I feel like Charlie from Flowers for Algernon, and like him, I hope they let me keep my job when this is all done.
To finish off the Cereal Cleanse, I hit Momofuku Milk Bar for cereal ice cream. As I eat it, I reflect back on the 81 (yes, 81) bowls of cereal I consumed over the last week. I ended up averaging approximately 1,735 calories of cereal a day. I had sugar-blasted highs, and soggy-bottom lows, but one thing is for certain: I'll probably never eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch again. All great things, even cereal, should be enjoyed in moderation.
"I wouldn't recommend this cleanse, or diet," Christman says. "It's not very healthy. Cereal has a place in our diet, but maybe one bowl a day. And a healthier option than most of the kinds you've been eating."
I can only hope I don't feel like this for the rest of my life.
"If you don't get better in a few days, contact a medical professional."
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Wil Fulton is a staff writer for Thrillist. He actually just ate cereal again. Follow him: @wilfulton.