Ice Cubes Don't Belong in Cereal
You might think there's no wrong way to eat cereal, whether it's with no milk, lots of milk, or waiting until the milk gets warm and the cereal gets soggy. Actually, though, there is a wrong way to eat cereal: with ice cubes.
This bizarre phenomenon first grabbed the public's attention last month, when a woman confessed her obsession to the world via this tweet:
The flurry of responses that followed were as confused and disgusted as you'd expect, but she wasn't alone. Emboldened by her confession, other weirdo ice-milk lovers stepped out of the shadows:
This is pure madness. By adding ice cubes, these lunatics are ensuring that the final slurp of cereal-flavored milk (arguably the best part) will be forever diluted -- defiled, even -- by meltwater.
What's worse, it's not even a new trend: people have been tweeting photos of this breakfast abomination for months, as far back as 2012, which can only mean they've been doing it way longer than that.
Am I the only one that puts ice in their cereal?? Lol everyone thinks I'm weird... *shrugs* pic.twitter.com/tig6G6aWgI— DƎƎJᗩУ (@_swaggu_) October 15, 2013
Yasss I put ice in my cereal to keep the milk cold btw pic.twitter.com/kPdLnEetgV— lauren (@SilverACM) September 6, 2014
Who are these hedonistic individuals, for whom normal, fridge-temperature milk isn't luxurious enough? Don't they realize they could just freeze milk in ice trays and have the best of both worlds?
This aggression against milk will not stand. Yes, this is America, and people have the right to enjoy cereal however they want, but to paraphrase Sam the Eagle, that doesn't change the fact that you're all still weirdos.
Think ice cubes in cereal is perfectly normal? Leave a comment below, and let's settle this once and for all.
Gianni Jaccoma is a staff writer for Thrillist, and he's not sure why he got so worked up over this. Follow his tweets from the soapbox @gjaccoma, and send your news tips to email@example.com