Junk Food Makes You Dumber, Study Says

Crave Real Burgers

Nobody expects burgers, fries, and cupcakes to be particularly healthy for you, but a recent study suggests chowing down on fatty and sugar-filled foods can actually lead to impaired brain function. It's basically the plot of Idiocracy, only with less Terry Crews.

Conducted at Oregon State University, the study observed the cognitive effects of high-sugar and high-fat diets on lab mice. After four weeks of these delicious/deadly diets, the mice performed markedly worse on tests (like navigating a water maze) than they had initially -- in fact, impaired short-term and long-term memory was most noticeable in the high-sugar mice. Turns out, altering your gut's microbiome by consuming a so-called "Western diet" (sugar, fat, simple carbs) can lead to higher risk for neurological disorders like Alzheimer's disease.

How can you avoid such a fate? It's simple: stop stuffing your face with junk food, ya big doofus. Yes, seven-layer burgers are delicious, but unless you wanna end up like a lab mouse, it's time to start exercising some self control.

Or maybe just start exercising, period.

Gianni Jaccoma is a staff writer for Thrillist, and this news is very upsetting to him Follow his nutrition progress on Twitter @gjaccoma, and send your news tips to

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