1. Big McChicken
How to get it: No one is going to make this for you, even if you ask nicely -- I promise. Get a Big Mac and three McChickens, and then get rid of all of the buns and never look back.
Verdict: The chicken is the best part of this. Which is great because there’s a shit-ton of it. It tastes like a bunless chicken burger with a hint of cheese and an even smaller hint of beef. In eating everything on the secret menu, I found that McDonald's buns often take away from the meal, so the chicken was a great alternative. New idea: try everything on the McDonald's menu with chicken patties instead of buns.
There's a reason McDonald's hasn't put any of these items on its menu (and it's probably not because a "secret menu" is a great marketing ploy… I think...). Most of these items are pretty hard to eat (due to size and general taste). Plus, the components of a regular Big Mac blend together and taste better than a burger with fish, chicken, and beef because someone put consideration into what tastes good together. Still, the Chicken McGriddle and Big McChicken are very solid and should probably be permanent menu items.
Finally, a PSA: when you mash several sandwiches together, you end up with enough bread to turn even the biggest bread fan off bread. This is truly sad, because bread is great.
Lucy Meilus is a staff writer for Thrillist and feels great, thanks for asking! Follow her amateur competitive eating on Twitter at @Lucymeilus and send news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org.