Cheese Spread with Jalapeños
This is one of the most prized items of any MRE, and it legitimately tastes good when spread on crackers, or even just taken straight. That said, there is no question in my mind that this “cheese spread” does irreparable damage once it enters your body. Imagine the depravity involved if you’re willing to mainline this “cheese” straight into your mouth. But who cares? It’s like a tube of nachos.
This is legendary throughout the military as the worst MRE entrée available. Again, the vegetarian attempt is suspicious, and it combines the consistency of those old-school PowerBars and the taste of, like, Reno... or something. Pair it with the included potato mixture for a true breakfast of people who have never won a championship of any kind.