Cockroach Milk, Poop Cafes, and Other Disgusting Food Trends
In food, there's often a fine line between appetizing and nauseating. If you add a dash of cockroach to your milk or a pinch of poop to your cafe, it's easy to turn potentially delicious into definitively disgusting.
Most of the entries on this list have some culinary merit and some semblance of appeal. But, there's just a little bit of fucking grossness added to make them not OK.
Our "next great superfood" might be made of our least favorite roommates. Cockroach milk has four times the protein of cow's milk -- so it's optimized for humans going to the gym for gainz, or whatever.
But before you dry-heave yourself into a fit, this is actually more of a hypothetical (despite a heavy dose of recent press). The bugs do produce milk, but the kind we'd end up consuming would be recreated by scientists in a lab from a sequenced gene. The protein crystals extracted from cockroaches will most likely be used in products like protein powder down the line. If you can't wait, feel free to eat any and all cockroaches you see at your favorite one-star hotel. It will be cheaper.
The poop cafe follows a logical train of thought. Coffee is brown. So is poop. If you put coffee inside mini-toilet bowls, people will Instagram the shit (hehe) out of it. And your dumb cafe will be famous.
Such is the case with Toronto's aptly named Poop Cafe, which follows the template laid down by Korea's equally nasty Poop Cafe. This isn't the kind of theme restaurant that makes eating enjoyable. Though, it's still less gross than Señor Frog's.
This goes far beyond a worm at the bottom of your tequila. "Trendsetters" and "influencers" (like Questlove and Mark Zuckerberg's sister, Arielle) are now into insect drinks like cricket-infused vodka. Entomophagy is hardly a new thing -- many cultures around the world practice it -- but for those of us who weren't conditioned to consume insects, the whole thing's a little unsettling.
Though, at the same time, I can see how some people might be a little turned off by eating food from a dumpster, inside a dumpster. It's a little Oscar the Grouch-esque.
You may have heard a lot of things about Soylent -- an uber-trendy, soy-based meal replacement drink. It's the future of food, the key to losing weight, kind of gross, made out of people, etc.
Now, Soylent comes in caffeinated form, so tech bros in NorCal can have enough energy to properly synergize without abandoning their diets.
As graphic as this photo is, placenta capsules are really just innocuous little pills (filled with dehydrated and ground-up placenta).
Personally, I have no desire to ingest something that's already come out of me, though. Not that I have the option. But you see what I'm saying here.
Fellas -- have you ever been sipping a cup of joe in your local cafe and thought to yourself, "Man, I could really use a blow job right now"?
Yup. Everyone has.
In Geneva, Switzerland (where prostitution is legal!) "Café Fellatio" is exactly what it sounds like: you go to the cafe and get some head. Some people might not think this is gross. Those are the people who will be going here.
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