In this rich tapestry of a nation, people can call sub sandwiches whatever they want and it’ll be completely, 100% kosher (in the metaphorical sense -- about 1% of these sandwiches are actually kosher). Of course, that doesn’t stop the terminology you use from revealing a whole lot about your backstory every time you order a sub by any other name. For example, “grinder” folks: we know about your disdain for Fever Pitch.
Here’s what your name for a sub sandwich says about you.
“Grinder” Where you’re from: New England
If you now live anywhere other than where you grew up (New England), you frequently get made fun of for saying weird stuff like “bubbler”, but the people who do it are just jealous because Boston’s got David Ortiz. Grinder day was your favorite school lunch day in junior high, and inevitably meant either meatballs or some other hot sandwich that was equally tough to bite into (hence the name). Sometimes you gripe about the difference between cold “subs” and hot “grinders”, but nobody in your current city can understand a word you’re saying. You loathe Fever Pitch.
Where you’re from: Westchester or Yonkers, NY
You claim to everyone that you’re from New York City, but people can sense that something’s ever-so-imperceptibly off, unless, of course, they witness you order a sub sandwich and call it a “wedge”. Then your carefully manufactured facade falls away, and you’re revealed for the penitent suburbanite you really are. You will pay the person who discovers this $1,000 and a wedge to keep their mouth shut.