A Subway legend
"I used to work in a 24-hour Subway in the centre of Liverpool. We were pretty close to student housing, so it wasn't the first time a customer came in reeking of weed after midnight. I greeted this ridiculously skinny guy with long hair and a heavy-metal band hoodie -- a stoner stereotype -- and he asked me for a footlong Italian herb and cheese with everything. Naturally, I assumed he meant all the veggies, because that's usually what people meant by that, so I asked him with what meat. He repeated, 'Everything.' What followed was about two minutes of back and forth:
"'This is going to cost you more than it would to buy three footlongs.'
"'That's fine. Everything on one sub, please.'
"'It's going to cost over £30, mate, are you sure?'
"'Yeah, everything on the one.'
"And then there was the actual making it, which was 10 minutes of me going:
"Are you sure you want the normal chicken as well as the teriyaki chicken?'
"'Yes, more chicken.'
"'Are you sure you want the tuna on top of these meatballs?'
"By the time I got to the veggies, I was basically piling it all on top of a sandwich which was never going to close.
"'No, more pickles than that.'
"'Yes, sir, if you say so.'
"And then we got to the sauces and he said, 'Just cover it in mayo.'
"'Are you sure? You've already got teriyaki and marinara in there.'
"'Yeah, just cover it in mayo.'
"At this point, I just did what I was told. I had to wrap the thing like it was a burrito and give him a fork from the salad bowls. He didn't complain about the £35 price either; he just paid on his card and left.
"I'll give him one thing: he knew what he wanted and he got it." -- Adam Plantier