"'Whatever,' the guy says, 'Just give me an egg in my coffee!' So my brother sticks the frozen egg patty thing into a cup of coffee and it immediately disintegrates. Strung-out dude calls him a pussy and demands it redone. My brother tries again, same results, and then tries a third time, nuking the patty first.
"Ten minutes later, the guy's apparently satisfied. When he takes a sip, though, he throws the drink at the wall and runs out. My brother leaves the store to go see just where the dude was heading, and he just ran off into the distance, apparently.
"My brother quit the next week." -- Irina Blake
The OG sandwich monstrosity
"I may have killed a woman with a sandwich when I was working at Subway.
"A security guard for the strip mall I worked at came in during a slow stretch in the afternoon, and was the only person in the store. I'd served her a few times before, but today was different.
"You see, Subway had recently started one of their brief BBQ rib promotions, and this lady needed in on that sweet pork action. She ordered a foot-long double-meat rib/triple-cheese/triple-bacon sandwich on white, no veggies, with half of a bottle of mayonnaise. To explain this sandwich: