How to order a burrito with everything in it
I walk into Chipotle, all smiles. I know the employees will have to work with me if we're going to make a burrito with everything in it.
"What would you like?" the friendly woman behind the counter asks.
"A burrito!" I reply, cleverly disguising the fact that this will be the largest burrito anyone has ever ordered from her.
"OK, white or brown rice?"
"I'm going to go crazy. I'm super hungry. Both kinds of rice."
"No problem," she says, scooping both rices.
"Black or pinto beans?"
"I'm going to do both of those too."
She has heard this before too. Then it gets kind of weird.
"All the meats," I say, sounding like a less-masculine, Semitic Ron Swanson.
"A full serving of all of them?" she asks.
She barely blinks, and when that happens, I feel like a million people must've done this before me. I feel unoriginal and not all that interesting.
"Do people do this all the time?" I ask.
"Not at all," she replies, and then pauses. "I might have to double wrap this."
Umm, probably, I think. What do I know? It's not like I've ever rolled a Chipotle burrito before. OH WAIT I HAVE.