Look, anyone can have a few friends over, crack open a couple of bottles of wine and assemble a half-hearted cheese platter and call it an "Oscar Party". But you aren't just anyone! You're someone who deeply appreciates a good theme and some clever wordplay, and as such you're serving up treats based around this year's eight best picture nominees. Here are some suggestions:
This Cheeseboat Is Covered With Over 4 Dozen Eggs
Bohemian Rhapsody: Bohemia Beer
Look, your party needs beer, and when there happens to be a readily available, crisp pilsner contained within the title of a nominated movie, you don't overthink it. Yeah, it's a Mexican beer representing a movie about a legendary British rock ba-- NOPE. Don't overthink it!
Black Panther: Vibranium Punch
Vibranium is a fictional metal that allowed the people of Wakanda to create an unparalleled civilization -- all you're trying to create here is a sizable batch of purple stuff that will create unparalleled merriment among your party guests. Get there however you please. Maybe Welch's and vodka! Maybe bust out the food coloring! Here's a recipe calling for grape Powerade. You know your guests. Doctor it accordingly.
The Favourite: Marshmallow Peep Bunnies
Given the fact that Queen Anne's 17 rabbits represent her deceased children, and the existence of a particular bunny-related incident at the end of the film that we won't spoil any further, it feels a touch macabre to advocate you serve ACTUAL rabbit at your shindig. Brightly colored bunny-shaped marshmallows feel sufficiently removed from reality. Plus, you can get a jump on Easter shopping. Just keep them away from the pizza.
Granted, Dick Cheney didn't actually hit the quail when he took his infamous shot, but you can't really serve Harry Whittington's face, can you? Here's a tasty looking recipe with some raisins (aka "shotgun pellets"?!). And if you're feeling too lazy to score some quail, just order up some wings and pretend they came from a bunch of really big quail.
Green Book: Pizza
Viggo Mortensen packed on 45lbs to portray perpetually hungry chauffeur Tony Lip in Green Book. He's eating constantly in the film, including a much-maligned and ill-advised scene involving fried chicken, which we're ignoring in favor of his properly folded decimation of a big ole slice of pizza. Let's face it, you were probably already planning on ordering one anyway.
Roma: Turkey Tortas
La Casa del Pavo made sense as the choice for Cleo and Adela's favorite restaurant in Alfonso Cuarón's stunning depiction of 1970s Mexico City -- it's been open (and minimally changed) since 1901. Their signature item is a turkey (aka pavo) torta. It's pretty much a lock that yours won't be as good, but get some roasted turkey, avocado, and rolls and see how you do.
A Star Is Born: (Jackson) Maine Lobster Rolls
Pro tip: If you don't like your guests enough to pony up for actual Maine lobster, just go with imitation crab and say it's in honor of Bradley Cooper's imitation of Eddie Vedder.
BlacKkKlansman: A Spike Lee Joint
There's enough food already! You need some appetite enhancement. Write "Spike Lee" on a rolling paper and go to town.*
*Disclaimer: Thrillist only condones going to town if you reside in one of the ever-increasing number of states where said activity is legal. Like Colorado, where the movie takes place, for example!
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