Attitudes toward smoking weed might be beginning to modernize, but that doesn’t mean the laws of the land have caught up with them. Turns out, in some states, the fine for smoking a joint is the same as the fine for wrestling a goddamned bear. Which is to say, there are some pretty outdated cannabis laws out there. These are the places where Reefer Madness seems to dictate legislation.
Sell any amount of any kind of cannabis in this place and you’ll face at least two years in prison, the same amount you’d get if also convicted of bear wrestling. Leonardo DiCaprio should stay far, far away from this state.
Every cannabis-related “crime” in this state is a felony, meaning jail time for everyone from joint smokers to drug kingpins. Possessing also dab rig can trigger a $150k fine, and cutting down a cactus could net you 25 years in the slammer. So, don't dab with a hand-saw in the desert.
In the state most-known for cannabis, it’s a felony to sell marijuana to anyone. Do so and you’ll spend 2-4 years in jail and be fined whatever the judge determines is fair. While in jail, it’s also now illegal (yep, it wasn’t before) for prison workers to have sex with inmates, contrary to what all those Hollywood prison movies taught us.
The peach tree people have made abandoning cannabis in public a misdemeanor with a possible one-year jail stint and $1,000 fine, but distributing a marijuana-flavored product with only get you fined half that much. But before you think about making a weed-flavored dildo, realize that sex toys are illegal in the parts of the state.
Hoosiers love their basketball, but based on them making “presence where knowledge of drug activity occurs” a misdemeanor with a $1k fine and year in jail attached, maybe not so much their cannabis. Be sure not to carry a pipe in your pocket here, as it’s illegal for a man to be aroused in public, even if he just watched someone catch a fish with their bare hands -- which is also against the law.
In the state where Mardi Gras will forever be a thing, distributing a few joints is a mandatory minimum jail sentence of five years, plus a fine of up to $50k. While you're contemplating that, be also warned that “fake” wrestling or boxing is illegal, which sorta makes us wonder what kind if they’ve seen Monday Night Raw ever. Even worse, mocking a boxer during a match is against the law, even if that boxer has an illegal pre-fight ritual that includes ingesting blood, urine, or fecal matter.
This state penalizes possession of quantities of one-tenth to two grams of concentrates, or about a good night’s worth with two stoners, with at least two years in the pen. They also passed a law against nutritional labeling, so good luck knowing what’s in whatever it is you’re eating.
Selling anything less than 100lbs of cannabis in the casino capital of the world will get you a minimum of one year in jail and fined $5k. The penalties are the same for flower, hash, and concentrates, so go big or not at all.