Tired of BORING old jack-o'-lanterns? Sick of the same old soggy pumpkins decaying on your front porch? Do you think Billy Corgan should be smashing tropical fruits in lieu of orange cucurbitaceae? Have you been reading this entire paragraph in an overemphatic, "As Seen on TV" announcer-person voice?
Then maybe carving a pineapple this Halloween is what you need to take your spooktastic Halloween to the next (increasingly spooktastic) level! BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Well... actually, there's not. Except for more pictures of these pineapple jack-o'-lanterns.
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They bring the tropics to you!
Pineapples were considered a status symbol in the 1700s -- you could even rent the suckers out for the hour! This is bringing some of that pineapple-y class back to what is surely America's least classy holiday.
Some are goofy
Like this goofy guy. He's just plain silly.
Some are kind of depressed
This election cycle is really having an effect on everyone, even decomposing fruit.
There's a whole lineup of 'em right here
Which one is Keyser Soze?!
They are taking over some people's lives
They are more pineapple-lantern than man/woman at this point...
And some people really love them
Like this guy. I'm pretty sure this is permanent.
Here's how you make one, kids
Have fun! But not too much fun. This is Halloween, not Earth Day.
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Wil Fulton is a staff writer for Thrillist. He actually blames Gwyneth Paltrow for most of the world's problems. Follow him @wilfulton.