Right-thinking snack aficionados everywhere rejoiced this week with the news that Planters will right a terrible wrong from 12 years ago and bring back their beloved yellow-topped canister of Cheez Balls in July.
Their Cheez Curls are also making a comeback. Cheez Curls are fine.
But here's the thing -- lost in the understandable excitement in anticipation of once more having the opportunity to pop open a canister of these gloriously cheesy orbs, eat a bunch, put them away and lick the orange dust off of one's fingertips while deciding "whatever I might as well just finish them" is a devastating bit of fine print: this engagement is for a limited-time only.
Indeed, Planters giveth, but as we learned the hard way over a decade ago, they also taketh away. We can't be expected to go through that again. Not when we already lost Dunkaroos.
So as I ponder an impending update to our 100 Greatest Snacks of All Time, I implore you: eat SO many Cheez Balls this summer. If you're trying to be nutritionally virtuous I'm sure they are capable of providing a zesty crunch in a salad or whatever. I'm no economics professor but the snack food game is rough these days, and I have to believe that so long as Cheez Balls are flying off the shelves the good people at Planters will keep giving the public what they want.
To be clear: Planters has had no involvement in this story. I am just trying to keep America from going back to a Cheez Ball-less existence. And don't start talking to me about Utz Cheez Balls. Utz is fine. They are not the same thing though. Look how happy these '80s people are!