Billions of tomatoes have apparently given their lives in vain, because ketchup has not ascended to the condiment throne. According to a new in-depth analysis, the crown goes instead to mayonnaise, proving once and for all that you should never underestimate the power of a mean tuna salad.
Looking at the breakdown by Quartz, mayo didn't just edge out ketchup in sales -- it did the running man on its grave. While mayonnaise rakes in an unbelievable $2bil annually, ketchup makes less than half at (an embarrassing, frankly) $800mil. Soy sauce ranks third with $725mil, trailed by hot sauce at $550mil. In a dismal fifth place is the $450mil mustard market, which has actually been shrinking since way back in 2009, when it got busted for killing a guy with a candlestick.
Mayo's terrifying rise to power is attributed not just to its new-found versatility -- need we remind you of deep-fried baconnaise? -- but also to the growing popularity of low-fat mayonnaise, a market that's doubled since '05. Good on us for being "healthy", we guess, but don't be surprised if Sriracha soon leads an uprising against the cruel dictator that is mayo.
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist, and is still reeling from the time she accidentally drank banana milk in 9th grade. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.