Can you eat meat?
"Yes. Unless scientists have somehow crossbred a chicken with a barley plant, in which case, I can't eat that imaginary animal."
Isn't it hard for you to watch your friends eat bread when you dine out?
"Not really. The bread basket only fills you up with empty calories. So, while my friends fill up, I can eat twice as much of their steak."
Aren't you being a little overly cautious reading that label? You can definitely eat that.
"Actually, we've got to account for all the random things that go into seasonings, dressings, extracts, and packaged foods in general. Even the innocuous-seeming Starbucks yogurt parfaits have vegetable oil with barley malt in it."