But there's barely any flour in it, so you should be fine, right?
"Nope, even cross-contamination can get us. For instance, if we eat a 'safe' sausage from a pot of sauce that at one point had meatballs in it, we'll still have a reaction. And fast-food fries that're cooked in the same fryer as the onion rings are also a no-go. It is a scary, gluten-filled world, friends."
You won't really get that sick, though, will you?
"Yes. Yes, I will."
Wait, what happens when you have a reaction?
"Let's just say my stomach gets upset and leave it at that."
Hold on, what really happens?
"It's weird, I can see the future for a second, and then everything goes black. Now go eat pizza in front of me, you bastard."
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist. She does not have a gluten allergy, but she sympathizes with her afflicted brethren. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.